Friends, I’ve been out here doing work and making art and I am tired. The kind of tired where you keep forgetting what day of the week it is. The kind of tired where you’re dreaming of a nap at ten in the morning. The kind of tired where you mean to write the name ‘Duncan,’ and instead write ‘Dunkin.’ Speaking of, I think I might make some coffee.
I’m honored to be directing a sketch show for International Women’s Day this Friday (!!). It’s a show that is simultaneously goofy, joyful, angry, random, sweet, and over-the-top wild, which in my opinion are all things a good sketch show should be. The sketches are both written and performed by our all-women cast, and it’s truly been a labor of love (which is a nice way of saying none of us are getting paid).
I’ve directed before, and I’ll say again what I said then: directing is harder than it looks. Stimulating, yes, rewarding yes, an opportunity to exercise creative authority for those of us who are total control freaks, absolutely yes. But not easy. I now understand what Christopher Nolan felt while directing Oppenheimer, except that Oppenheimer took 57 days to make and my sketch show only took five weeks. I’m not saying I’m better, just pointing out the numbers.
People also keep asking me about my process, and while I’m really more of a private, enigmatic kind of genius, I can’t deny the world something it so desperately craves.
So without further ado, here’s a raw, unedited look inside the mind of one of the world’s most underrated directors (me):
Could [redacted special effect] injure an audience member? Can we get sued for this?
All the women singing together sounds…really good. I used to be in a women’s choir. Why did I quit women’s choir?
When I say ‘bloobloobloobloobloo’ does the tech guy know the sound effect I’m referring to? Maybe there’s a clearer way to say it. Bleeeblobleeebloblo? Something like that. Yeah. Bleeeblobleeebloblo.
How is it possible that my thrift store blazer looks good on everyone? Is this some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants thing? Thank you, magic blazer.
Do you think we can get a bridal veil off Amazon in two days? We can? Who else is out there buying $10 bridal veils off Amazon? Are they okay?
Where can I find masking tape? I haven’t used masking tape since grade school. Who even uses masking tape? I wonder who invented masking tape.
Does the tech guy hate me?
Did that “great job” come across as genuine? Because I’m so tired and my whole vibe is definitely giving ‘passive aggressive zombie’. Uh oh. Cast morale is important. Mental note: sound more enthusiastic!
Is my PB&J going to kill someone? Do I need to stop the scene and ask about nut allergies? But I’m so hungry. It’s probably fine, right?
Is it too late to insert myself into the final dance number? Cause damn, that looks like fun.
Did we just completely skip a scene? And now all the tech cues are off. Wow, that’s embarrassing. Who’s directing this?
It’s 10:17pm. Does anywhere still sell coffee?
When I say ‘Dial that horror movie smile up to 11’ does that make sense? ‘Horror movie smile’ is a thing, right? Wait. I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a horror movie.
How old is Elmo supposed to be anyway?
How mad would [cast member] be if I ate some of the prop cake?
That tech guy definitely hates me.
Upcoming Shows
Strong Female Lead: A Sketch Show to Make Women Smile More - Friday March 8th at 9pm in Hartford
Main Character Energy: A Character Show - Friday March 15th at 7pm in Brooklyn